A map of me:

Exploring identity beyond caring

For many of us, being a carer isn’t just something we do; it becomes part of who we are. The responsibility, the love, the exhaustion, and the resilience weave themselves into our identity so tightly that it’s hard to know where we end, and our caring role begins. But what happens when we pause and ask: Who am I, beyond this?

Losing (and finding) yourself

When you first become a carer, it can feel like your world shrinks. The focus tends to shift more towards the person you care for with appointments, medications, advocating and keeping everything together taking centre stage. Over time, the things that make you, well, you, can sometimes fade into the background. Hobbies tend to be abandoned, friendships sometimes become more distant, and dreams may need to be put on hold. Although usually temporary, some carers are left wondering, “is there anything left of me outside of caring?”.

Then one day, someone asks, “what do you enjoy doing?”, and you realise that you no longer know. You could tell them about your loved one’s needs, struggles, and triumphs, but you’ve forgotten how to talk about yourself.

Choose to use that moment, where you start to forget who you were before your loved one became injured to make a conscious decision to get back to doing the things you love.

Mapping yourself out

It might feel overwhelming at first - where do you even begin when you’ve lost yourself? But you don’t have to have all the answers at once. Instead, try to create a ‘map’ to explore different parts of yourself and see where they might lead.

Trace your past

Think about who you were before caring became central to your life. What did you love doing as a child? What passions or interests did you once pursue? Sometimes, looking back can help us find the path that leads us forward.

Explore the present

Ask yourself, what sparks your curiosity? What brings you joy, even in small moments?

Pay attention to things that make you feel alive such as listening to music, taking a walk, reading, or even just laughing at a silly joke.

Dream about the future

Allow yourself to imagine possibilities beyond your current reality. This isn’t about setting grand, unrealistic goals but about giving yourself permission to dream again. What would you like to learn? Where would you like to go? Who do you want to be outside of your caring role?

More than just a carer

While caring is often a huge part of your life, it doesn’t have to define your entire identity. You can be a carer and a friend, an artist, a writer, a traveller, a dreamer - whatever you choose.

If you feel lost in your caring role, we encourage you to start mapping yourself out. You don’t need to have all the answers right away. Just begin with small steps like reconnecting with something you love, trying something new, or even just taking a moment to acknowledge that you matter too.

Because at the heart of it all, you are more than what you do for others. You are you, and that is worth exploring.