Learning to accept help:

Overcoming the stigma of receiving support

Caring for an injured veteran or serving person is a role that demands strength, patience, and relentless dedication. As carers, we often find ourselves wearing many hats - nurse, advocate, cook, chauffeur, and emotional anchor. Yet amidst the tireless care we offer, one thing often falls by the wayside, particularly in the early days: our own wellbeing.

For many carers, asking for help feels uncomfortable, even wrong. We tell ourselves we should be able to handle it all. That needing help is a sign of weakness, or worse, that it makes us a burden. This mindset, though common, is deeply damaging. It's time to challenge this stigma and recognise that learning to accept help support is a sign of strength, not surrender.

So why do so many of us struggle to ask for help?

The reasons are complex. Some of us were raised to value independence above all else. Others feel guilt - how can we ask for support when our loved one has given so much already? And often, we fear judgment: that others will think we’re not coping, not resilient enough, not strong enough.

But here's the truth: no one is meant to carry this journey alone.

The Cost of Carrying It All

Unrelenting stress and isolation take a toll. Burnout, anxiety, depression, physical illness; all are common among carers. When we refuse help, we not only risk our own health but also limit our capacity to care for our loved ones in the long run.

Accepting help, whether from a friend, a support group, or a professional, doesn’t make you any less committed. It ensures you have the energy and emotional reserve to stay the course.

Reframing the Narrative

Let’s change the internal script. Instead of, "I should be able to manage this on my own," try, "Even the strongest need support." Instead of, "People will think I’m failing," consider, "People will see that I value my own wellbeing too."

Support networks like The Ripple Pond exist because countless carers have walked this path before you. They know the toll, and they know the power of connection. You're not alone and you don't have to be.

Small Steps Toward Acceptance

If asking for help feels daunting, start small:

• Accept a meal from a friend.

• Join an online peer support group - we know a good one!

• Let someone else handle the school run or a household task.

• Speak to your GP about carer support services.

Every step you take toward accepting help is a step toward balance, resilience, and sustainability.

You're Worth It

You are doing an extraordinary job in challenging circumstances. That doesn’t mean you must do it all without help. Seeking support isn't a sign you're not coping - it’s an act of courage and self-respect.

At The Ripple Pond, we believe carers deserve to be seen, heard and supported - just as much as the veterans or serving people they care for. Because your wellbeing matters too.