When the dust settles:

Life after service related injury

We like to think that our members say it better than we ever could, so below, we’ve shared some real-life examples of what life is like for those caring for a loved one after a service related injury.

Rachel's Story (Name changed for anonymity.)

Our journey began in our teenage years, but the twists of life led us apart when he joined the Army and ventured into Northern Ireland.

Years passed and our paths crossed again in 2019. Little did I know the profound challenges we would face as he battled Complex PTSD, a struggle that would ultimately lead me to The Ripple Pond in 2020. When we reunited, he had just completed the Warrior Programme, seemingly having his PTSD under control. Assured that he was fine, I viewed him through rose-tinted glasses, oblivious to the signs that all was not well. His past relationship struggles, coupled with the diagnosis, offered a semblance of clarity, explaining the oddities in his behaviour.

In a recent revelation, he confessed to years of self-medicating with drugs, particularly cocaine, during his darkest moments. His coping mechanism involved withdrawing, a behaviour we accepted, not fully understanding the extent of his struggles. The turning point came when his mental health crisis escalated into a suicide attempt. It was then that I was referred to The Ripple Pond by his worker at TILS (The NHS Veterans Mental Health Transition, Intervention, and Liaison Service, now a part of Op Courage).

The Ripple Pond became my sanctuary, revealing a community of Members sharing similar struggles. Initially, I was hesitant about disclosing my partner's cocaine use, but I found courage in the supportive Ripple Pond environment. Opening up in group chats felt daunting, yet the positive reactions and the shared stories of addiction within the Armed Forces community surprised me.

The Ripple Pond proved a godsend, offering me a lifeline and altering my perspective. The misconception that support was solely for the service person dissolved as I found support and understanding for myself.

The peer support forums allowed me to connect with other Members on a personal level. I have learned that support for partners is just as crucial as supporting the veteran. My partner withdrew his permission for his therapist to have contact with me. From that point, I was flying blind. I struggled to understand how I could help and support the person I loved.

Understanding the intricacies of the veteran's therapy journey is crucial. The Ripple Pond has helped me understand his journey, as well as build my own personal resilience.

Recognising the impact The Ripple Pond has had on my life, I am now giving back as much as possible, and with the charity's help, I have been involved with some exciting strategy planning with the NHS. The Ripple Pond community has been a beacon of light, and I am determined to give back as much as I have received.

Jane's Story (Name changed for anonymity.)

I call myself a ‘retired Army wife’, because my husband and I weren’t together when he was serving. He left the Army seven years ago, then 6.5 years ago he was sent to prison.

 At that time, I didn’t know where to turn for help. I posted on The Ripple Pond Members Facebook group about my husband having PTSD and being in prison, and members responded straight away, to say 'we’re here for you' and 'what can we do for you?'. Two members even called me, with one talking to me until 2am, and staying in touch with me afterwards. She was the person who set me the challenge of finding three positives every day – without using the same one twice in a week – and asked me to send them to her in a message. This was absolutely a saving grace for me.

What also helped was the fact that I was never asked why my husband was in prison, and nobody ever told me to walk away from him. They just understood, and they supported me.

At a time when all other support was focused on my husband, The Ripple Pond supporting me as an individual made a big difference. Building my health, confidence, and resilience.

After I’d shared my story with the community, a dozen other members shared that they were – or had been - in a similar situation to mine. Those conversations helped me because they made me feel useful, and they gave me the chance to show other people the light at the end of the tunnel. The community, and having the support of The Ripple Pond, even got me to a point where I was able to do a lot of advocacy for my husband whilst he was in prison. Funnily enough, it had actually been my husband who suggested that I join The Ripple Pond in the first place, to give me a private outlet where I could relate to people in similar positions.

The fact that it’s grown so much in such a short space of time shows how much The Ripple Pond is needed.

I like that there’s never any set commitment or pressure with The Ripple Pond. The services and support is there when you want it and help is always at hand. Members don't have regular free time, so the fact that The Ripple Pond can fit around our lives, or we can drop in and out, is really important. Nobody thinks twice if a member posts for support after having been quiet for 6 months – we just give the support that’s needed, without question. There’s no judgement, and everyone is willing to be there for each other. We share our common ground and our own experiences, to help answer each other’s questions. That lived experience is so important, because it’s a real person saying ‘this has worked for us’, or ‘that didn't work for us'.